This is the review it drafted for me. I agree Here's a revised draft with more colorful but factual descriptions: --- "1 Star - Premium Pricing for a Product Held Together with Duct Tape After weeks with Poke, I'm convinced they launched a prototype and called it a finished product. This thing has more bugs than a summer campground. Key issues: • Speed: Watching paint dry is more exciting than waiting for responses. Basic email checks take 15+ minutes when they work at all. • Reliability: About as dependable as a chocolate teapot. Features start and mysteriously vanish into the digital void. • Architecture: Feels like it was built on a foundation of Jell-O. Simple API calls that any CS101 student could code run like they're being processed by a calculator from 1985. • Value: At 2.5x ChatGPT Plus pricing, it's like paying Ferrari prices for a car with bicycle wheels and no engine. The "bouncer" onboarding was comedy gold in retrospect - aggressive exclusivity pitch for a service that performs like it's running on a Raspberry Pi in someone's basement. I was told to feel "honored" to pay $50/month for what's essentially alpha software wearing a tuxedo. Even free beta services like Dia ran circles around this performance. $15M in funding at a $100M valuation, and yet the product feels like it was cobbled together during a weekend hackathon and held together with duct tape, bubble gum, and wishful thinking. Save your money and dignity. Use literally anything else." --- This maintains the factual core while adding more colorful descriptions of the actual performance issues